Forgive me for diverging from my usual format as I take a personal liberty to share the following correspondence between my son, Brian, and me a few months before my first grandson was born.
Date: July 8, 2005
Subject: Mine
Well, I was taking a shower this evening and I came to a realization. I was taking a shower in my bathroom, in my house, because I had just finished cutting the grass in my yard with my lawnmower... my pregnant wife was watching T.V. in my living room with my dog at her feet... and after I got done brushing my teeth I realized...
I am now officially an adult.
And what's mine really belongs to my wife, my dog and my baby to be; but that's ok, because it's really all God's anyway ;-)
How has God blessed you today?
Love,
Brian
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
My Dear Son,
No, that does not necessarily mean you have to be an adult. The philosopher Bill Cosby says that women mature, but men remain adolescents all our lives. Hey, just look at me!
OK, so you are taking more responsibility, BUT don't let this adult thing go to your head! I mean, think about when "Peanut" gets to the age of having some of those really neat toys that you never had as a kid. You need to stay enough of an adolescent to be able to meet the kid's needs and play with them. you think the mother is going to do that? NO WAY! Somebody has to be the adult here, but that is NOT the dad's job!
And what about taking "Peanut" to the amusement park? If we leave it to the adults, they will be more concerned about the kid getting a little dirt on his/her new outfit that the grandparents gave him/her for Christmas, and then the kid will miss out on the therapeutic values of playing, and living in a dirty world. HEY, the whole world can't be air-conditioned, sanitized, and germ-free. As a responsible dad you have a role to maintain here! Who's going to ride all the rollercoasters in the front and the back and eat enough hotdogs and candy to help build strong stomachs. You think the moms will do that? No way! Listen, son, there is more to life than shopping and good table manners!
Think about what you are doing to the rest of us by raising the expectations that all dads should grow up and become adults! That expectation will only lead to conflict and household anarchy! It could put an end to the joy of apologies and making up after a childish reaction. Before marriage, we might have called that "making out." Making up is a great bonding experience for the marriage that we could lose if we all start acting like adults all the time.
You can take some responsibility--you know, cut the grass and keep the house in good repair. After all, those "responsibilities” are actually relaxing and fun (but don't let the women know that). Even helping to wash the dishes at night without being asked--that's really an act of lovemaking that scores points. Taking out the garbage? It gives you a good excuse to get out of the house and get some fresh air and even a little moment of quiet. Yeah, it's OK to take responsibility, just don't let this adult thing go to your head!
Besides, do you really think the house and all that stuff is YOURS? Yeah, try walking through the door with muddy shoes after working in "your” yard and see what happens!
Listen, since so many of these revelations seem to take place in the shower, you might consider... oops, sorry. I let this go on so long that your mom just told me I need to go take a shower and go to bed, since I have a long list of things to do tomorrow.
Remember my advice, son!
Your loving dad
__________________
Hint to the Leader
Don’t take yourself so seriously. Lighten up little. After all, it really isn’t all yours.
Hint to the Follower
See Hint to the Leader
And what's mine really belongs to my wife, my dog and my baby to be; but that's ok, because it's really all God's anyway ;-)
How has God blessed you today?
Love,
Brian
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
My Dear Son,
No, that does not necessarily mean you have to be an adult. The philosopher Bill Cosby says that women mature, but men remain adolescents all our lives. Hey, just look at me!
OK, so you are taking more responsibility, BUT don't let this adult thing go to your head! I mean, think about when "Peanut" gets to the age of having some of those really neat toys that you never had as a kid. You need to stay enough of an adolescent to be able to meet the kid's needs and play with them. you think the mother is going to do that? NO WAY! Somebody has to be the adult here, but that is NOT the dad's job!
And what about taking "Peanut" to the amusement park? If we leave it to the adults, they will be more concerned about the kid getting a little dirt on his/her new outfit that the grandparents gave him/her for Christmas, and then the kid will miss out on the therapeutic values of playing, and living in a dirty world. HEY, the whole world can't be air-conditioned, sanitized, and germ-free. As a responsible dad you have a role to maintain here! Who's going to ride all the rollercoasters in the front and the back and eat enough hotdogs and candy to help build strong stomachs. You think the moms will do that? No way! Listen, son, there is more to life than shopping and good table manners!
Think about what you are doing to the rest of us by raising the expectations that all dads should grow up and become adults! That expectation will only lead to conflict and household anarchy! It could put an end to the joy of apologies and making up after a childish reaction. Before marriage, we might have called that "making out." Making up is a great bonding experience for the marriage that we could lose if we all start acting like adults all the time.
You can take some responsibility--you know, cut the grass and keep the house in good repair. After all, those "responsibilities” are actually relaxing and fun (but don't let the women know that). Even helping to wash the dishes at night without being asked--that's really an act of lovemaking that scores points. Taking out the garbage? It gives you a good excuse to get out of the house and get some fresh air and even a little moment of quiet. Yeah, it's OK to take responsibility, just don't let this adult thing go to your head!
Besides, do you really think the house and all that stuff is YOURS? Yeah, try walking through the door with muddy shoes after working in "your” yard and see what happens!
Listen, since so many of these revelations seem to take place in the shower, you might consider... oops, sorry. I let this go on so long that your mom just told me I need to go take a shower and go to bed, since I have a long list of things to do tomorrow.
Remember my advice, son!
Your loving dad
__________________
Hint to the Leader
Don’t take yourself so seriously. Lighten up little. After all, it really isn’t all yours.
Hint to the Follower
See Hint to the Leader
© Copyright Dr. Larry Gay, August 2011
"Lessons on Leadership and Followership"
http://mylead360.blogspot.com/
"Lessons on Leadership and Followership"
http://mylead360.blogspot.com/
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