"Tell me what it takes to make you leave
and I'll tell you how committed you are."
and I'll tell you how committed you are."
(Doug Sager)
“Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”
(Hebrews 12:1)
Comedian Mrs. Hughes, says people ask her what's the secret to a long and happy marriage. "Well, I can tell you how to have a long one," she replies. "Children. Neither of us wanted custody."
What about the happy part? Years ago I helped organize family life conferences where our main presenter would ask participants, "How many of you got married because you wanted to be unhappy?" Of course, no one raised their hands.
What about the happy part? Years ago I helped organize family life conferences where our main presenter would ask participants, "How many of you got married because you wanted to be unhappy?" Of course, no one raised their hands.
Long marriages and long careers have a lot in common. So what makes the difference between a long and happy relationship or career and a short or dissatisfying one?
1) How did you stay so long? and
2) If you had it all to do over again, what would you do exactly the same?"
NOT what would you do differently. I wanted to learn what worked. What made for a long and successful career?
1. How did you stay so long?
Every long-term retiring person I have interviewed has mentioned the words "commitment" and "calling." They all expressed a strong sense of calling to their profession and recalled having made a commitment to follow that calling. Commitment seems to be a dirty word to many people today. When someone says, "I will," they really mean, "...if a better offer doesn't come along." In the case of these people, however, a commitment was something to be honored and fulfilled. For these people the old expression "My word is my bond" is not just an expression. It is a matter of integrity.
All of the people I interviewed talked about moments when they felt like throwing in the towel. Many of them mentioned having to deal with difficult people, difficult changes, difficult supervisors, difficult circumstances, crises, discouragement, or even threats of danger. In such moments when doubt set in, they returned to their original sense of call and commitment and, having "stuck it out" through the difficult times, found fulfillment in realizing a sense of purpose and accomplishment.
2. If you had it all to do over again, what would you do exactly the same?
On this question I have heard a variety of answers, but everyone I have interviewed who went the distance mentioned something about the relationships they built with the people with whom they worked. Sometimes they talk about pouring their lives into the next generation. Sometimes it has to do with friends they made along the way. Often they mention life-long relationships that began because of a shared crisis, or lives that were changed because they had stayed. One thing they all agree on: if they had it to do all over again, they would build relationships with the same people in the same places.
On this question I have heard a variety of answers, but everyone I have interviewed who went the distance mentioned something about the relationships they built with the people with whom they worked. Sometimes they talk about pouring their lives into the next generation. Sometimes it has to do with friends they made along the way. Often they mention life-long relationships that began because of a shared crisis, or lives that were changed because they had stayed. One thing they all agree on: if they had it to do all over again, they would build relationships with the same people in the same places.
Methods and programs come and go, but the relationships we build are what make a lasting difference in the world.
How Committed Are You?
Lieutenant Norman A. Stapp was scheduled to retire from the Irondale(Alabama) Police Department in May 2010 after more than 40 years of service in law enforcement. When asked the best advice he had ever heard and from whom, he responded: "An older police officer told me, 'Don't ever let one man cause you to quit your job.' I ran into that one man many times, but I remembered what that older officer told me." (quoted by Victoria L. Coman in The Birmingham News)
Whenever major organizational changes have come or whenever I have met "that one man" (or woman) who seemed to make my life miserable at work, I try to remember this: I never joined an organization because of the way it was organized and I never joined because of one person. So, why would l quit just because the organizational structure is changing or because I disagree with one person in the organization? Am I really willing to let them have that much power over me?
Leadership Hints
• What are you doing to build up the next generation of leaders?
• What legacy will you leave behind in your relationships?
• What kind of example are you setting in the way you honor your commitments?
Followership Hints
If you are thinking about quitting, put things in the balance:
• Does one difficult relationship outweigh all the good ones?
• If you leave, are you running toward a new challenge or away from a current one?
(c) Dr. Larry N. Gay, May 2010
http://mylead360.blogspot.com/ "Lessons on Leadership and Followership"
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