Lead them Where No Man Has Gone Before

           An effective leader can lead people to go places where even the leader has not been before without coercing, convincing, manipulating, shaming, or in any other way trying to force the people to follow. This is especially important when launching any new project. 

            The story of Joshua leading his people across the Jordan River provides a great example of how to lead people to go where they have never been before. To read the story, click here (Joshua 3).  Before launching any new project, strategy, or idea, leaders need to:

1.      Learn to follow. The most effective leaders are also good followers. Joshua followed those who carried the Ark. He knew that the leader does not have to be in the limelight all the time.

2.      Lead the people to prepare themselves.  Joshua gave clear instructions to the people to prepare themselves for the battle that was about to come; then he followed to the letter the plan he had been given as he led the people to begin the long-awaited conquest of the Promised Land.

3.      Let go of your ego. Joshua did not have to prove himself or defend his actions before the people.

4.      Lead out in faith with confidence. Imagine being the first person to step into the water. Only the leaders’ feet got wet. They stood in the middle of the river as the people crossed over.

Hint to Leaders

            Are you absolutely certain you are leading people in the right direction with the right plan?  Are you courageous enough to lead your followers to commit to such a plan? What do you need to do to demonstrate that your own faith and confidence are well-placed?

Hint to Followers

            Are you prepared and willing to follow? What do you need to do to get ready?

© Dr. Larry Gay, October 2010

http://mylead360.blogpsot.com/

Effective Leaders Are Good Mobilizers

            The most effective leaders are good mobilizers. They know how to recruit the right people to do the right job and then release them to do it. For a great example of a leader who knew how to mobilize people, look at Joshua.  As he was preparing to march on Jericho, Joshua sent two spies who would report directly to him. To read the story, click here. (Joshua 2:1‑24)

An Effective Strategy for Mobilization

1.    Select the right people.

A.   Choose people you know you can trust to do the job.  Not everyone needs to know everyone else's business. Give specific assignments to specific persons for specific tasks.

B.   Choose people who are already committed to the project.

C.   Choose people who clearly understand the task when you give instructions.

2.    Trust them to do their job. 

A.   Although they used some unconventional methods to accomplish their task, they got the job done because they felt empowered by their leader.

B.   They were confident that their leader would back them up when they gave their word.

3.    Clarify the limits of delegated authority. 

Joshua made it clear that the two would to report only to Joshua. They would give their report secretly to the final decision maker.

4.    Value their influence, from three "I's."

A.   Encourage their input.

B.   Receive their information.  

C.   Ask for their insight.

5.    Wait for the right timing.

A.   What a difference a generation can make! (Compare Numbers 13-14):

                                                  i.    Moses had sent out twelve spies who were already leaders among the tribes. They were chosen by the tribes, not by Moses.

                                                ii.    The twelve were sent to explore the land, not to decide if, how, or when to attack. That was a strategic decision that was never intended to be decided democratically or by consensus.

                                               iii.    The ten majority spies were afraid and used their power, position, and influence to turn the people against their leader.

                                               iv.    The people were predisposed to follow a negative leadership.

                                                v.    Only Caleb and Joshua saw that the decision was really the responsibility of a higher authority than their own.

B.   Joshua must have learned from the negative experience of his mentor, Moses. He recognized that this was not a decision to be made by tribal representatives on a consensus basis, so he sent only two chosen and anonymous spies who reported only to him.

Hint to Leaders

            What can you learn from Joshua's example about empowering your followers and mobilizing them to complete the task you have been given?

Hint to Followers

            What can you learn from Joshua's example about effective followership? How can you use your empowerment and influence to help your leader be even more effective?

© Dr. Larry Gay, revised October 2010

http://mylead360.blogspot.com/

Five Principles of Leadership

Several years ago I began to analyze the principles on which I wanted to base my leadership. In my search for a personal definition of leadership, I discovered that spiritual leadership is defined by Jesus in one word—servanthood. (Mt. 18:1-4; 19:30; 20: 8, 16, 20-28; Mk. 9:35.) Jesus’ model of leadership with His disciples demonstrated that the effective spiritual leader is not so much interested in climbing a corporate ladder as in providing himself as the step-support for others to grow in spiritual maturity. Spiritual leadership is helping people to become all that God wants them to be in Him so that He can accomplish all He wants to do through them.

Five guiding principles have influenced my leadership as I have tried to apply that definition. Although none of the five maxims is original, they have become such a part of my leadership philosophy that I can no longer remember some of their original sources.

1.    Being precedes doing.

2.    Ask God to bless you with His plan, rather than asking Him to bless your plan.

3.    Do what is right because it is right.

4.    Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing.

5.    Servanthood is not the way to the top; it is the top.

The effective leaders I have wanted to imitate, the people I would most willingly follow, all seem to share these common principles and characteristics, even if they might not express them in exactly the same way.

It all boils down to having the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he had positional rights in the eternal universal organization, he humbled himself and took a lower position as a servant in obedience to his Father’s plan, so that the ultimate purpose he desired to see fulfilled would be achieved by his followers, even after his death. (Phi. 2:5‑11)  Jesus could do the things he did because he knew Who he was and Whose he was. He always demonstrated his desire to do his Father’s will, and not his own. His actions were not always popular or within the accepted practices and regulations of the authorities, but he acted based on what he knew was right in God’s eyes. He never lost sight of his purpose in coming to earth, to preach the good news of the kingdom. And he showed us the way to the top by such actions as wrapping a towel around his waist, washing his followers’ feet, and submitting to a criminal’s death on the cross.

Good supervision is dependent on good leadership. Applying all the best practices of leadership is no substitute for applying the best practice of servanthood as Jesus demonstrated.

© Larry Gay, September 2005

It Isn't What You Know... (Networking)

Your mother probably told you “It isn’t what you know, but WHO you know that really counts.” You might think that you don’t know the right people to help you accomplish what you want to do, but all of us have networks of family, friends and acquaintances that can help us meet someone who could introduce us to someone else, putting us closer to the right people who can help us.

The importance of networking cannot be overemphasized. In career counseling we often repeat that this really is true. Brian Ray of the Crossroads Career Network affirms:

Most employers first try to recruit people through their personal contacts before they advertise a position or list it on the Internet. Of all the jobs that get filled (85%) are part of this “hidden job market.”[1]

So how do these jobs get filled? Through personal contacts.

Another startling statistic came from a private corporate study that demonstrated that applicants who had been personally referred for a job were 42 times more likely to be selected than those without personal referrals. Let’s say that again. According to this study, your odds of being selected for a job are 42 times greater if you are personally referred.

That’s a 4,200% better chance![2]

Did I mention how important networking is in today’s job market? There are several reasons why this is true, but it all comes down to this: employers prefer not to hire someone who is “unknown.”

Six or Seven Degrees of Separation

Consider the phenomenon known as “Seven Degrees of Separation.” The theory was originated by Stanley Milgram in the 1960s and popularized by a game featuring actor Kevin Bacon in the 1990s. Until recently the concept was considered an urban myth by many, but a study by Microsoft has validated the idea that each of us is no more than seven steps from a direct link to everyone in the world.[3]

Just last week, as we were talking about this in a career transitions workshop, someone mentioned the “Six Degrees of Separation from Kevin Bacon” when another participant commented, “Hey, I know someone who knows someone who actually knows him!”  I suppose that just gave all of us a “Bacon number” of four! Theoretically, I am only four phone calls from a personal conversation with him, so if I did want to meet him, I know exactly who I would call first. (Note to Kevin: don’t sit by the phone waiting for me to call. You are only four degrees from knowing me if you need to talk.)

Another Illustration

The most effective leaders are good networkers and they are not hesitant to work their contacts.

Some Greeks who had come to Jerusalem to attend the Passover paid a visit to Philip, who was from Bethsaida, and said, "Sir, we want to meet Jesus." Philip told Andrew about it, and they went together to ask Jesus. (John 12:20-22)

In case I did not mention it earlier, your mother was right—WHAT you know is not nearly as important as WHO you know. (Thanks, Mom!)

Hints to Leaders and Followers

Start a list now of people who could be good resources to help with future projects or could provide a good recommendation. Maintain good relationships by staying in touch with old friends. Give someone a call this week.

© Dr. Larry N. Gay, September 2010

http://mylead360.blogspot.com/

---

[1] Brian Ray, Maximize Your Career in the New World of Work, Crossroads Career Network, http://www.crossroadscareer.org/.

[2] Ibid.

[3] http://www.redorbit.com/news/technology/1507844/seven_degrees_of_separation/ , Posted on 3 August 2008.

Lead by Example, Not by Exemption

In response to last week’s article, a reader (who wishes to remain anonymous) wrote:

Your observations about self-serving leaders (his words) are appropriate.  Too many leaders…don't take seriously their responsibility to care for the people they are supposed to be leading.

A turning point for me personally was when I was a young military police lieutenant in the Army.  During our training as officers we were told that if we ever had to take out a sniper in a building, we would be the first ones in and our soldiers would come in behind us.  I was shocked.  Number one, because I realized that in combat I probably would not live very long, and number two, because I realized that the Army expected me to value the lives of my people more than I valued my own.  After my initial moment of being somewhat stunned, I internalized the lesson, and I have never forgotten it.  “A leader gets paid to lead.”

Another illustration is that among Army paratroopers, it is a time-honored tradition that the highest ranking officer on the plane is the first one to jump.  

The older I get, the more I appreciate what Jesus did, and the more I appreciate the example that He gave us.  

My friend is right. It is a dangerous thing when any leader begins to think of himself (or herself) as indispensible and exempt from the rules that govern the people he or she leads. The best leaders lead by example, not by exemption. Here is a simple formula for effective leadership from the Apostle Paul: 
 

1. “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment.”   (Romans 12:3)

2. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3)

3. “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:4)

In summary, Paul says, the leader should have the same attitude that Jesus showed:

“(He) made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a slave.” (Philippians 2:5-7)

 

Can you imagine how the atmosphere in your workplace might change if you started a new trend by adopting these simple principles? Simple, but very difficult to embrace because our natural tendency is to think of self first and others last (if at all). The most effective leaders demonstrate an attitude of service to others. In response, the people they lead tend to follow with loyalty and dedication to the task.

Hint to the Leader

            What kind of example would people say you are setting for the people you lead? Try to think of one way you could begin to implement leadership by example instead of exemption.

Hint to the Follower

             Remember, your leader has needs too. Look for ways to serve without being asked. Even if your own leader does not set an example of servanthood, you can still exert your influence by being an example to others. Something as simple as giving up your place in line can make a difference.

© Dr. Larry N. Gay, September 2010

http://mylead360.blogspot.com/

React to the Crisis or Respond to the Opportunity

            There is a difference between reacting and responding. We initially react to an emergency or crisis in an automatic self-protection mode. Responding, on the other hand, is intentional and requires thought, preparation and training. 

In an emergency the people closest to the event initially react to the circumstance. For example, when a gunshot is fired unexpectedly close to you, you might immediately be startled and crouch down or let out an exclamation or run in the opposite direction. A friend from the past who had been a prisoner of war and suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome would do all three in reaction to any sudden loud noise, even years after he was released. He would yell out “Hit it!” and jump to the ground or under a table faster than you could turn to see where the voice came from. That reaction was automatic in his case. Some would call that a conditioned response, but it was in fact an involuntary reaction.  

            My wife’s first reaction to seeing a spider is to run and call out, “Larry, come quick!”  That is also an automatic reaction. I suspect she does that even if I am not in the house at the time.  

            When we call 911 for help in an emergency, the first people to arrive on the scene to provide help are called “first responders,” not first reactors. The first reactors were already present and are probably victims of the emergency. Even if they were only witnesses to the event, they are likely to have been traumatized by what they saw or heard. Calling 911 was the first planned response, although even that might often be an emotional reaction. I don’t know what to do, so I panic and call 911. A lot of calls to 911, like a lot of visits to the emergency room at the hospital, really do not require emergency medical personnel.  Many calls for emergency help could be handled by people already on the scene if they were prepared to respond and not just react. First Aid and CPR training are designed to help people take control of the situation and respond in spite of their natural tendency to react by getting out of harm’s way or running from responsibility.

Respond Responsibly

To respond is to act responsibly. In fact, the words respond and responsible have the same Latin root word. My first reaction to a crisis will probably not be the best response. Reactions tend to be emotional while responses are more controlled.

React	vs	Respond
–      Emotional –      Spontaneous –      Unplanned –      Unprepared –      Uncontrolled (at least initially) –      Allows the other actor to be in control –      Victim		–      A choice –      Measured –      Planned –      Prepared –      Controlled –      Takes control and responsibility for own actions

Where do YOU Draw the Bottom Line?

            In the current economic downturn, most businesses have reacted to the crisis by drawing the bottom line too soon. Their reaction to the crisis has been to downsize and reduce costs by eliminating numbers of employees in an attempt to make their balance sheets look more positive for stockholders. With a good “bottom line” the corporate executive can look good and perhaps even be rewarded with a bonus from the savings.  

            An alternative would be to count the human cost in the bottom line and consider the stewardship responsibility these businesses have for their employees and to the community they should be serving.  As stewards of these resources, businesses should be looking for ways to not only keep the employees they have, but even how to add more jobs. What if the executives in an organization decided to forgo any bonuses and all the employees agreed to take a 10 percent cut in pay so no one would lose their job? What if, the executives looked at their own salaries and determined to downsize their own lifestyles to make resources available to add more employees and thereby increase the productivity of the business?   

            That sounds unrealistic, doesn’t it? Even so, as a leader you have been given a stewardship responsibility for the people you lead. Your personnel are not an expendable resource.  When your employees see that you actually care about them as people, that you are looking at the new opportunities to respond and not just react to the circumstances and that you are trying to work with them to find appropriate responses, what do you think their response will be?

Hints for Leaders:

A crisis can become a new opportunity if leaders take time to respond responsibly. What opportunity is this unexpected situation presenting? How should you respond? How can you lead your people to seize the moment, take responsibility and act as responders and not just reactors? Be careful not to spend so much time, energy and resources preparing for future scenarios that you miss the opportunity to adjust to unforeseen circumstances.

Hint for Followers:

How have you reacted to the most recent crises in your environment? How could you respond differently from your initial reaction?  What opportunities might be presenting themselves for change, growth or improvement? What responsibility do you have as a result of this opportunity? 

© Dr. Larry N. Gay, August 2010

http://mylead360.blogspot.com/  

P.S.
Consider the stories of Sarah (Genesis 18:1-15) and Mary (Luke 1:26-38). Both received astonishing news by a messenger from God. Both would give birth to a son. Both reacted initially with incredulity because this would be beyond the normal realm of logic—Sarah, because she was too old and beyond normal child-bearing years; and Mary, because she was unwed and had never had sexual relations with a man.  The comparison ends there, however. Sarah continued in her reactionary attitude with an emotional (perhaps even sarcastic) laugh expressing her doubt. Mary had a different response. "I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said." (Luke 1:38) 

WOW! What different responses!

The Cost of Empowerment

     I had never thought of empowerment as something I could choose to experience. Until I read the following paragraphs from Daryl R. Conner, I thought empowerment was something that only leaders could give to followers. Conner, however, challenges us to think of empowerment as a two-way transaction wherein the follower must also make an investment before true empowerment takes effect. As you will see below, there is a price to be paid for receiving empowerment.
[LNG]

EMPOWERMENT


Exceprt from:  Daryl R. Conner, Managing at the Speed of Change: How Resilient Managers Succeed and Prosper Where Others Fail. New York: Villard Books, 1993, (194-7).


     "Empowered employees are those who provide true value to the organization, influencing the outcome of management's decisions and actions. The antithesis of empowerment is victimization. Victims believe they are faced with a negative situation offering no alternatives. In actuality, most victims face alternatives they refuse to act on because they view them as too expensive.

      "Victims resent feeling as if they are being used and tend to feel depleted by change. Therefore, they demonstrate little interest in contributing beyond what is necessary to protect their employment during unsettled times. Subsequently, the organization profits little, if any, from its investment in such people. For foxholes to form, employees must overcome their fear of victimization and engage management in an empowered fashion as key contributors to a team effort. The basis for this approach is not blind faith, but the knowledge that they hold management's bullets, which provides a healthy balance of power in the relationship.

Empowerment Should Not be Confused with Delegation, Courage, or Autonomy

Empowerment Is Different from Delegation

     "Many organizations mistakenly refer to "empowering" the work force when they encourage people to make their own decisions about some aspect of their job. When someone has been assigned the right to make his or her own decisions, it is more appropriate to call this delegation. The term empowerment should be reserved for those situations where employees are not granted permission to take action on their own, but instead are asked to provide input to management as decisions are being made. You are empowered when you are valuable enough to others to influence their decisions--not when you are allowed to make your own.

      "Even if your suggestion is not implemented, you are empowered if your ideas are genuinely considered before the final decision is made. Empowered peoplef do not always get what they want, but their input is always considered important and it carries weight with those making decisions.

Empowerment Is Not the Same as Courage

     "It is possible to act on one's convictions, but not be really influential with others. The act of offering someone your ideas or thoughts does not constitute empowerment unless you are considered valuable by that person. Therefore, empowerment represents both a person's willingness to provide input to decision makers and an environment where that input is valued.

      "When someone chooses to express his or her opinion despite the fact that the decision makers do not seek nor value such input, the act is referred to as courageous, not empowered. The students at Tiananmen Square were courageous, but they lacked the value to be influential with their governmental leaders. Therefore, they were not empowered.

Empowerment Is Not Synonymous with Autonomy

      "It is possible to be independent yet still be incapable of generating a desired result. To be empowered is to believe that you can significantly influence your own destiny. Empowered people do not think they control all the elements of their lives, but they do believe that, most of the time, they are responsible for a great deal of what happens to them.

     "In this context, responsibility implies neither blame nor acclaim, but rather the belief that most of the circumstances in which we find ourselves are the result of how we have defined the situations we face, the decisions we make, and the price we are willing to pay for what we want. So, the hallmarks of an empowered person are the creativity to frame the situation so success is possible, the capacity to face and make tough decisions. and the motivation to pay the price of success.

     "An empowered person has the creativity to define a situation in such a way that the likelihood of success improves. There are three different ways to define and approach situations.

     "1. Opportunities: Opportunities are potential benefits that require appropriate action to fully realize; opportunities can be exploited.

     "2. Problems: Problems have solutions. They may be elusive. but they can be prevented or resolved if you pay the price.

     "3. Dilemmas: Dilemmas have no solution. They are an inherent part of the situation at hand and, therefore, they must be accepted as inevitable. Sibling rivalry among young children is not a problem to be solved, but a dilemma to be managed.

     "Empowered people do not try to fix unresolvable problems: they learn instead how to live with the dilemma, or they shift from viewing a situation only as a problem to seeing the opportunities they might exploit. People spend their careers in one of two ways: (1) as victims of missed opportunities, unsolved problems, and unaccepted dilemmas, or (2) as architectural managers affecting these situations through their own creative actions.

     "The capacity to face and make tough decisions is the second essential component of empowerment. Either consciously or unconsciously, people are constantly making decisions that help determine the situations in which they later find themselves. For example, being unhappy in a marriage is, in part, the result of a prior decision regarding who to marry. Being successful in one's job is partially the result of a previous career decision. Since all decisions are made with insufficient data, once decisions are made, they can be sustained, modified, or reversed based on new information that is obtained over time. Sometimes, living an empowered life requires making tough decisions. The responsibility for what happens, or continues to happen, lies primarily with you.

     "The motivation to pay the price for success is a third key aspect of empowerment. Empowered people approach life as if it were an expensive pastime. They believe that people either pay dearly for getting what they want, or they pay dearly for not doing so. Since both invoices are expensive, they choose the one that represents the least cost for the most gain. They always know, however, that a price will be paid. How much is paid and what is received for that payment are the only options.

     "Although the organization must provide the appropriate environment, it also includes a self-concept earned through creative reframing, tough decisions, and expensive payments. This aspect of empowerment is not something that the organization grants employees and managers or transfers through training. Work environments can be established that attract empowered people And empowerment can be fostered, but it is not a quality that can be given to people simply because the organization has decided that it would be a good idea."

----------------- 

So, according to Conner, I must choose to be empowered.

Hint to the Leader

     What kind of environment are you creating for the people you lead? How can you let them know that you value their input and that you do not merely tolerate them expressing their views?

Hint to the Follower

     Have you been acting like a victim, or like an empowered manager? What price will be required of you to feel empowered? Are you willing to pay the price?

© Dr. Larry Gay, July 11, 2010 http://mylead360.blogspot.com/  "Lessons on Leadership and Followership"

The Art of Confronting for Change

“…Warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.”     (1 Thessalonians 5:12-15)

          After a year on the job, Jarod and his boss did not see eye to eye on everything. In fact, they probably saw most things differently. Even so, Jarod made a conscious effort not to speak negatively in public or with other workers when referring to his work situation. He was surprised that he had never had a performance evaluation, especially since he knew the company policy clearly stipulated that reviews should take place at six and twelve months after a new employee began work. Although he wasn’t completely happy in his new job, as far as Jarod could tell, he was adequately fulfilling his responsibilities.

          That’s why it caught him completely by surprise on Friday morning when Alex stepped into his office and announced, “You know, this really is not working out well, so today is your last day here. Clean out your desk and turn in all your pending files by this afternoon.”

           Unfortunately, Jarod’s story is not very unusual among many businesses. Some organizations act as if they believe leadership is a natural, innate ability that is automatically endued to anyone named to any management position. One of the first items to be cut during difficult financial times is training for leaders. Small businesses and non-profit organizations are often notorious for providing less than adequate training and skills upgrade for leaders. Cutting leadership training from the budget might appear to provide short-term budget savings, but the longer term results will be very costly.

1. Reduced productivity.

          How much productivity is lost by people talking about the problems caused by a weak or a dominating leader? People will always spend time talking around the actual or virtual “water cooler” (social networking sites). Poor leadership is likely to ensure that the conversation is negative and counterproductive. Much time and energy can be lost agonizing over the poor decisions and poor interpersonal skills of leaders.

2. Decline in Morale
          Who wants to work in a place where you don’t know what’s expected and you never know when the axe might fall? Poor morale grows like mold in the darkness and is not easily turned around.

3. Erasure of loyalty
          Loyalty has become a thing of the past. Employees do not demonstrate loyalty to the company because they do not feel loyalty from the company to its employees. Managers seem to forget that the organization cannot reach its objectives without the productive participation of its personnel. Loyalty is built on trust and trust is built on trustworthiness. Employees who do not trust their leader/supervisors will tend to adhere strictly to the rules, regulations and policies out of fear. One union worker once told me that the way to shut a company down is for the workers to apply the letter of the law and follow every policy to the letter.

4. Increased personnel costs
          Often leaders draw the bottom line too soon when “counting the cost.” Consider the high cost of not confronting or dealing with the problem. Consider the cost of severance packages, searching for and hiring new personnel to fill vacancies and the cost of collateral losses when other people quit or become less productive because they can’t seem to get along with the individual who is causing problems.

Remember the Reason

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”  (Hebrews 12:11)

           Confrontational meetings are always best done through personal and direct forms of communication, and followed up in writing. At every point along the way, remember that as a leader, you already have authority and a certain power that can easily be misused. You do not have to be mean as you exercise leadership to help someone become a more effective worker within the bounds of the organization’s vision, mission, objectives, and policies. You do not have to be “bossy” or use command language to get the person to change this specific behavior. It is important that the person confronted sense that their leader wants them to succeed and believes they can. The goal is to communicate clearly that this person is of value and can be a productive and effective team member by changing this specific behavior. If the other person can see your face and hear your voice of compassion as you communicate the difficult words, there is a better chance of achieving the goal of change.


So, What Can You Do?

          Years ago, Tom Peters suggested in Thriving on Chaos that policies should express positive expectations. Try to make policies that enable, empower and motivate people to respond with service. Limit negative policies to the absolute minimum. Avoid writing policies based on one or two negative experiences.

          Most organizations or companies have written policies and procedures for how to carry out administrative actions with personnel who are not performing to management’s expectations. The mere publication of a policy and procedure, however, does not guarantee that managers know how to effectively administer personnel issues to the best benefit of the organization. Training is needed to help leaders learn how to administer policies in such a way that the productivity of their personnel actually improves.

          Whether or not Jarod was performing his duties satisfactorily to Alex’s expectations, there are a few simple steps that Alex could have followed that could have resulted in a much happier ending to Jarod’s story for all concerned. The steps are simple, but they do require some effort.

Hints to the Leader:

1. Clarify expectations.
           If a worker is not meeting your expectations, confront early and make your expectations clear. Let them know what a good job should look like.

2. Offer assistance for improvement.
          If the individual is not performing to the level of your expectations, assume the first responsibility and make sure they receive adequate instruction and training. Assign a mentor or coach. Make sure they have an accountability partner for progress. Ask questions and LISTEN CAREFULLY to be sure you understand what the problem is.

3. Give a warning—then offer more assistance
          Many leaders want to skip this step and just go straight to the corrective administrative action—also known as “You’re fired!” Unless the failure is clearly a terminal offense, give a clear warning that this behavior is unacceptable and must be changed or there will be consequences. Ask if there is anything keeping the individual from being able to meet the expectation. Offer to provide additional help. KEEP LISTENING.

4. Outline consequences of failure to meet expectations.
          All too often leaders wait until the problem becomes so unbearable that they suddenly turn into the Incredible Hulk and go ballistic without warning. They hold their complaints until they scream out like Popeye in the cartoons, “That’s all I can stands, I can’t stands no more!” You might think you are demonstrating patience by holding your comments, but you are really doing the person a disservice by not letting them know clearly what the consequences will be if your expectations are not met.

5. Get help for yourself, too.
          Everyone needs a mentor, coach, advisor, counselor, accountability partner or friend who can offer a listening ear, ask questions, give an opinion or offer suggestions. Ask if you are being reasonable or if there might be an alternative that could possibly get better results. Consult up line with your own leader to be sure you are standing on solid ground and will have the support of your leader if corrective action is required. Your supervisor should always be given a “heads up” that a problem could be brewing.

6. Set a specific date for review.
          Be sure the individual knows not only what is expected, but also when it is expected and when they will give you an accounting of progress.

7. Reward baby steps.
          The reward can be very simple and very small. As in horse training, often the most effective reward is a very small positive stimulus to a very small movement in the right direction. The reward can be as simple as releasing the tension on the reins when the horse first makes even a slight nudge of the head in the right direction. In the beginning, reward or praise even the intent to correct the unacceptable behavior. Be careful, however, not to over-praise small steps of progress.

8. Redirect a thought.
          Cowboys know that a cornered steer will cut its eyes in the direction of a perceived escape. An experienced rider will move to block that thought and make the escape route seem uninviting by waving a hand with a hat or a lasso or pulling the horse in the path of visibility to make the space seem smaller and less secure. As soon as you see an unacceptable behavior, find a way to redirect the person’s thinking to something positive and acceptable.

9. Follow up.
          Even if the unacceptable behavior or performance is corrected, follow up to let them know you remember and truly expect a change to take place. Ask about progress along the way. Be sure they know you want them to succeed. (You do want them to succeed, don’t you?) Follow up a face-to-face meeting with an email confirming in writing what you talked about. Remind them of what you agreed upon and what your specific expectations.

10. Follow through.
           Never give a warning unless you are fully prepared to follow through with action. Don’t be like the father who warned his son who was misbehaving: “I’m only going to warn you about this seventeen more times and then I’m really going to do something! (maybe).” Threats do not produce better results or more productive behavior. Be a person of integrity whose actions align with your words. Don’t threaten to do anything. Instead, let it be known what the consequences will be and then act exactly as you say you will.

11. Document, Document, Document
          Be sure to keep accurate records.


Hints to the Follower:
          What if my boss is not following these steps? How do I deal with an inconsiderate or incompetent boss?

1. Go the extra mile.
          Show that you really are trying to do the best job possible with what you have been given.

2. Make suggestions instead of demands.
          Let your boss know you really do want to help make things better, not just for yourself, but also for the benefit of the company.

3. Be careful not to develop an attitude of disdain or arrogance
          Be respectful, even if you think your boss is not doing a good job, he or she is still the boss and deserves respect.

4. Model the behavior you want your boss to demonstrate toward you.
          Be courteous. If you want more communication, communicate more. If you want more openness, be more open.

5. Recognize that not all personalities are created the same.
          Some people are more people oriented, some are more task oriented. Some prefer more direct communication, while others prefer more indirect ways of communicating. Try to adapt to your boss’ way of doing things while also asking him or her to recognize your personality differences.

6. Ask for training. Ask for help.
          Recognize your need for development. You might need to find your own mentor, coach and accountability partner. Don’t just use them to vent your frustrations. Ask them to help you set goals for real improvement and growth.

7. Ultimately, you are responsible for seeing that your needs are met.
          Don’t expect someone else to be responsible for your personal development and growth. Take responsibility for your own career.


(Click here to download a free copy of a more detailed document Confronting for Change: It’s the Loving Thing to Do, outlining step by step how to administer positive corrective action.)

© Copyright Dr. Larry N. Gay, June 20, 2010

Lesson No. 2 on Sticking it Out - Finishing Well

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race.”

(Apostle Paul, Second Epistle to Timothy 4:7)

    

          As I mentioned earlier, long-lasting marriages and long-lasting careers seem to have a lot in common. I was privileged to have two sets of grandparents who had long marriages. I started to say long and happy marriages. I would not pretend to suggest that they were always happy, but I think I could safely say that on the average both couples were happily married. Both lived through the Great Depression of the 1930’s and saw some pretty difficult times. I often wondered how they managed to stick it out and stay together for so long—the Coffeys for over 60 years and the Coxes for over 70 years! Some of the gems of wisdom they shared with me have also influenced my views on leadership and followership.

1. Adapt and grow because change is inevitable.

          I was fifteen years old when Grandmother and Granddaddy Coffey celebrated their fiftieth anniversary. As we stood near the table with the anniversary cake all decorated, I reflected with Granddaddy on some of the changes fifty years had brought: radio, television, jet aviation and space travel to name a few. They had been through some tough times, literally losing the farm once and yet they had stuck it out together for all those years. They had married when she was 15 and he was 21. By the few pictures I had seen of their youth, she was a thin and pretty blonde weighing in at perhaps 110 pounds—quite a catch!

          By now, Grandmother Coffey was (how do I say this delicately?)… let’s just say there was a lot more of her to love than there had been at age 15. So I asked Granddaddy Coffey how a man could stay married to the same woman for fifty years. He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close then gave me the same answer I read somewhere in a Reader’s Digest magazine:  “Son, after fifty years she ain’t the same woman!”  In fact, he had said on at least one occasion, “I ain’t legally married to two-thirds of that woman!”  They had stuck it out through thick and thin, literally!

          Ten years later, at their 60^th wedding anniversary, my wife and I stood across the table as they were about to cut the cake again. By this time Granddaddy Coffey had lost both legs to diabetes and had to be pushed in a wheelchair. He had two different bags hanging on the side to collect fluids from his body. It had been so long since he had hair on his head that he couldn’t remember when he had actually gone to the barbershop for something other than to visit with friends. And he had glasses so thick he could barely hold his head up.  Grandmother Coffey pushed his wheelchair close to the table, took his feeble hand and held the knife to cut the cake together. She paused for a moment then laid the knife on the table. Looking across at me she said, “Young man, I recall that ten years ago to this day you asked your grandfather how a man could stay married to the same woman for fifty years and something was said about  her not being the same woman after that long. Well, for ten years I have held my peace, but today I want to tell you—after sixty years he ain’t the same man either!”  

          There is something to be said for sticking it out through all the changes. During one of his lucid moments, I asked Granddaddy Coffey if he didn’t agree that the first year of marriage is the toughest, with all the adjustments you have to go through learning to live with each other, putting up with each other’s personal habits and adjusting some of your own personal preferences.  “Hmph!” he snorted, “The next fifty ain’t nothing easy either!” If it were easy, it wouldn’t be worth nearly as much as it is with the extra effort staying together requires.  I have to work at getting to know the person my wife is becoming over time as she also learns to live with the new me that I am becoming every day.

2. Commitment—let your yes be yes and your no be no.

         Granddaddy Cox loved to read the newspaper. One afternoon he read about a man who had killed his wife 25 years earlier and had just been released from prison, his sentence having been reduced for good behavior. “I could be a free man today!” he teased. “I wonder if I could get out early for good behavior too.” Although he joked about “freedom” and being released from the bondage of marriage, after Grandmother Cox suffered her first stroke in 1980, he pushed her wheelchair, lifted her in and out of bed and helped her bathe for at least 19 years before she finally had to go to the nursing home.  He would tease her that he had been pushing her around for so long, wasn’t it time for her to get up and push him for a change?

          So after they had been married almost 70 years I asked him what’s the secret to such a long and faithful marriage? He thought for a few seconds. “Well,” he said, “when I said ‘I do’ I meant it.”  Being a man of his word was important to Granddaddy Cox. Granddaddy Coffey would have agreed. The word “commitment” was not a dirty word to them. When they promised to love till death parted them, that’s exactly what they meant to do. When they said “in sickness or in health,” they fully intended to stick it out through the good times or the bad times.

          My wife and I looked at my grandparents as examples of how we wanted our marriage to be. We also joke about the commitment we made in our own wedding vows: “…till death separates us.” Sometimes she asks me if I want to be separated right now! 

          We signed a long-term contract that we fully intend to complete. We have had to learn to adjust to many changes and we are not the same persons we were when we started out on this journey together over 36 years ago. Instead of looking for a better deal to come along and chasing after some illusive dream, we have learned to appreciate the gift we have and determine to keep on loving each other in spite of anything that might work against us.

          Your attitude toward commitment reveals a lot about your integrity, trustworthiness, team-building abilities and effectiveness. Some people think their personal lives and professional lives are two totally different things. I disagree. I would be much more interested in an individual’s character than their resume. Character is who you are when no one is watching, in marriage and at work.

3. Learn to listen more and talk less.

          Once, when I was in elementary school, I brought home a report card with all A’s and B’s. My mother suggested I show it to Granddaddy Cox for him to praise me. The very first grade at the top of the report was “Conduct” which was a “B.” I don’t think he even saw the other grades. “It seems to me that one thing anyone could learn to do is be quiet when they are supposed to be and behave themselves in class,” he commented. Even if I couldn’t make A’s in anything else, I could surely make an A in Conduct. 

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
(James 1:19)

          That lesson applies to marriage and leadership—learning to listen more and talk less, seeking to understand before seeking to be understood. All too often words are thrown around with careless abandon when it would have been prudent and wise to wait and hear the other person out before making a judgment. Both of my grandmothers certainly seemed to practice that. Grandmother Coffey waited ten years to respond to that comment about not being the same woman. (OK, maybe she waited ten years to get even! I don’t know.)  I never once heard Grandmother Cox make a sarcastic comment and she never spoke a word of retort in haste. She held to that old saying, “If you can’t say something good about someone, don’t say anything at all.” Come to think of it, I noticed there were some people she simply did not talk about at all.

          What do you suppose life would be like in the workplace if we all took that advice?

Leadership Hints

• Leaders need to keep growing and adapting. What are you doing to grow yourself and the people you lead?
• Do people see you as a person of integrity, whose “yes” means yes and “no” means no? What do you need to do to improve in this area?
• How are you doing in the area of listening to those you lead?  Are you quicker to speak or to listen? 

Followership Hints

• What initiatives can you take to keep growing and improving?
• To what or to whom are you committed? 
• Leaders are people too. Do you need to change the way you talk about yours? 

© Dr. Larry N. Gay, May 2010

http://mylead360.blogspot.com “Lessons on Leadership and Followership”

Lessons on Sticking it Out

"Tell me what it takes to make you leave
and I'll tell you how committed you are."

(Doug Sager)

“Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”

(Hebrews 12:1)

          Comedian Mrs. Hughes, says people ask her what's the secret to a long and happy marriage. "Well, I can tell you how to have a long one," she replies. "Children. Neither of us wanted custody."

          What about the happy part? Years ago I helped organize family life conferences where our main presenter would ask participants, "How many of you got married because you wanted to be unhappy?" Of course, no one raised their hands.

          Long marriages and long careers have a lot in common. So what makes the difference between a long and happy relationship or career and a short or dissatisfying one?

          Over the last 30 years I have interviewed at least 100 retiring personnel who have completed 30, 40 or 45 years of service with the same organization. I always ask two questions:
          1) How did you stay so long? and
          2) If you had it all to do over again, what would you do exactly the same?"
NOT what would you do differently. I wanted to learn what worked. What made for a long and successful career?


1. How did you stay so long?

          Every long-term retiring person I have interviewed has mentioned the words "commitment" and "calling." They all expressed a strong sense of calling to their profession and recalled having made a commitment to follow that calling. Commitment seems to be a dirty word to many people today. When someone says, "I will," they really mean, "...if a better offer doesn't come along." In the case of these people, however, a commitment was something to be honored and fulfilled. For these people the old expression "My word is my bond" is not just an expression. It is a matter of integrity.

         All of the people I interviewed talked about moments when they felt like throwing in the towel. Many of them mentioned having to deal with difficult people, difficult changes, difficult supervisors, difficult circumstances, crises, discouragement, or even threats of danger. In such moments when doubt set in, they returned to their original sense of call and commitment and, having "stuck it out" through the difficult times, found fulfillment in realizing a sense of purpose and accomplishment.

2. If you had it all to do over again, what would you do exactly the same?

          On this question I have heard a variety of answers, but everyone I have interviewed who went the distance mentioned something about the relationships they built with the people with whom they worked. Sometimes they talk about pouring their lives into the next generation. Sometimes it has to do with friends they made along the way. Often they mention life-long relationships that began because of a shared crisis, or lives that were changed because they had stayed. One thing they all agree on: if they had it to do all over again, they would build relationships with the same people in the same places.

          Methods and programs come and go, but the relationships we build are what make a lasting difference in the world.


How Committed Are You?

          Lieutenant Norman A. Stapp was scheduled to retire from the Irondale(Alabama) Police Department in May 2010 after more than 40 years of service in law enforcement. When asked the best advice he had ever heard and from whom, he responded: "An older police officer told me, 'Don't ever let one man cause you to quit your job.' I ran into that one man many times, but I remembered what that older officer told me." (quoted by Victoria L. Coman in The Birmingham News)

           Whenever major organizational changes have come or whenever I have met "that one man" (or woman) who seemed to make my life miserable at work, I try to remember this: I never joined an organization because of the way it was organized and I never joined because of one person. So, why would l quit just because the organizational structure is changing or because I disagree with one person in the organization? Am I really willing to let them have that much power over me?

Leadership Hints
     • What are you doing to build up the next generation of leaders?
     • What legacy will you leave behind in your relationships?

     • What kind of example are you setting in the way you honor your commitments?

Followership Hints

If you are thinking about quitting, put things in the balance: 

     • Do the changes outweigh your commitment
     • Does one difficult relationship outweigh all the good ones?

     • If you leave, are you running toward a new challenge or away from a current one?

(c) Dr. Larry N. Gay, May 2010

http://mylead360.blogspot.com/ "Lessons on Leadership and Followership"